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Reply to "Women expecting other women to be in charge of all holidays/logistics/family dynamics"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]About 12 years ago, I started attending DH’s family reunion as a guest; then we were engaged, then married. I’ve been going to this reunion every non-COVID year. About 8 of them were married years. The week after we got married, I was added to a women-only email group to discuss The Family Reunion. It involved what rental properties to secure, menus, who would bring what, how payments would be divided, etc. I was confused and sent it to my husband, who wrote back to the group and asked to be included as the point of contact. Apparently, before I came on the scene/before we were married, he was just told by his mom (*who is also married-in and not a blood relative of this family*) what the dates were, what food he should bring, and how much he would owe. So like, he was never treated as an adult participant even when he was an adult who was paying his way. And then after he was married, somehow *I* was deemed as a full planning participant, because I have a vagina. He was told flat-out when he requested to be added as our nuclear family representative that it was a women-only group, and that I would be receiving the emails. I marked the emails as spam and haven’t seen a single message since. His mom tries telling me details and I tell her to contact her son. [/quote] OMG! This reminds me of the Ladies of the Knights of Columbus did to me after DH and got married! DH's father was big into the K of C, DH was a member but didn't do anything with them (except get life insurance through them). We lived together for 3 years and I heard nothing from The Ladies. We get married and I then get an in the mail a bunch of raffle tickets to sell and instructions on how to record/turn in the money. I was like, WTF! I had no idea who these Ladies were, had had no interactions with them (that I knew about) and was pissed that they just assumed I was going to go along. Not only did I find it incredibly rude a presumptuous, I had no time for it even if I wanted. I was working full time and going to grad school part time. I had 0 time. Oh, and they didn't even get my name right. They assumed I'd taken DH's last name, omitted my last name and inserted DH's. I mailed everything back with a tersely worded response that I was not interested. [/quote] I love it. It would be one thing if one of them reached out to you to say hello, introduce herself/tell you a bit about their organization, and *invite* you to join. But clearly they have no interest in you as an individual, just as a raffle-selling extension of your husband. Wow, that’s beyond. Same deal with PP: they clearly aren’t interested in her as a person, just as someone who can help plan and execute a reunion for…not her family. LOL nope. Try again, 1950s Ladies.[/quote]
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