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Eldercare
Reply to "Elderly parent phone call agony"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think maybe Jeff needs to come in and review the IP address(es) of the manipulative troll who always comes in to a) insist that all children must maintain relationships with their parents, no matter how terrible the parents are; and 2) insists that everywhere else in the entire world is much better than the US in terms of parent-adult children relationships. Also probably the same troll who 3) insists moving parents to assisted living is monstrous; and 4) opposes end-of-life decisions to discontinue interventions that are only prolonging life, because quantity over quality. But in any event -- to the OP and to others who have posted similar stories -- I'm a living example of someone who cut my narcissistic, alcoholic, abusive father off twenty years ago now. After much therapy, I realized that there was ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I could do to set boundaries that my father would respect. It didn't matter if I asked nicely, if I explained my feelings, if I reasoned with him, or if I yelled at him or ignored him. My feelings do not matter and have never mattered to him. My father did not attend my wedding and he's never met any of my three children. He's now 84 and will likely die soon. I'm sure I might be a little sad, but I did most of my mourning twenty years ago in mourning the fantasy of having a good dad who would love and respect me. His death will the end of any possibility of rapprochement, but he chooses not to change and I choose not to subject myself or my family to his abusive behavior. Done and done.[/quote] I posted before this in "Website feedback" with a thread entitled "Is this the same person." I don't think Jeff read this thread all that closely because he saw the person as providing another perspective and not going over the line. That makes sense in many cases, but I think he missed the fact OP is an child abuse survivor and the tactics used by the poster crossed the line IMO. Regardless, not my website. Usually I agree with Jeff, but not on this case.[/quote] I saw that response from Jeff and had the same impression. He either didn't see it or simply didn't get it.[/quote]
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