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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I didn't "host" a party but my son and some kids (10) came over to our home after a football game. The next day I found empty beer and truly cans. Of course, I was upset but he said they brought them.

After Halloween, a different group of friends came over to hang out. I stayed up until midnight but felt asleep. I supplied snacks, soda and water but again, the next day I found cans of beer and trulys in the trash. A few kids spent the night.

These are all seniors and according to my kid, everyone does it. If not my house, someone else's home![/quote]

OP here. This was what we expected (even though the parents said they worry supervising). We didn’t expect them to supply alcohol (and it was a lot of alcohol too). [/quote]

How can you allow your kids to attend these parties? You have a responsibility to your children to keep them safe. You are condoning their underage drinking by turning a blind eye. You think it is better that the kids supply their own alcohol rather than the parents? Don't you think this is equally as bad? You people disgust me.[/quote]

So we expected the parents to supervise until they went to bed and that supervision meant no drinking. [b]W[u]e expected teens to try and sneak alcohol,[/u] especially when parents went to bed (even tho they told us they would supervise all night). [/b]We did not expect the parents to supply a large quantity of alcohol.

[b]We also [u]talked to our child about our expectations[/u] [/b]and about all of the risks of drinking.  [/quote]

Why did you expect that teens would try to sneak alcohol and drink?  And when you spoke with your child about your expectations, were those expectations that they would drink?

If so, I'm surprised that you convey that expectation to your child.  I expect that my teens do not drink and make that expectation clear to them.  A majority of teens do not drink.  Studies show that we have far more influence than many parents believe.

[i]"Parental expectations of adolescent alcohol use significantly moderated all structural relationships, and greater parental disapproval was associated with less involvement with friends and peers who use alcohol, less peer influence to use alcohol, greater self-efficacy for avoiding alcohol use, and lower subsequent alcohol use and related problems.[/i]"

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15963903/

Establish your expectations and model responsible alcohol consumption, and your teens will follow suit.  Expect that they will drink, and they will.

[/quote]

Look, I’m not the one who served alcohol. [b]I thought my kid was going to a party that would be supervised. [/b]I didn’t know the parents so we called and asked.  I was concerned that there might be drinking because I know that teens drink.

I’m really surprised that you are attacking my parenting.  [/quote]

Yes, and you wrote above that you expected that the kids would try to drink.  Why did you expect that?  
[/quote]

Not PP but are you that dumb? Why would any parent NOT expect or think that their older teen goes to a party and not try to sneak in a drink. [b]OP said the parents at the party supplied the alcohol! Not uncommon![/b] [/quote]

Not common in my world.  I bet you live in a W school catchment.

When my kids go to parties, I connect with the parents to verify they'll be home and I expect my kids not to drink because they are underage and it's illegal.  And you know what?  They don't!

[/quote]

DP.    We are zoned to a W cluster school.  I fall in the camp of "turn them in" posters.
[/quote]

What is a W cluster school? please educate me. I live in VA suburbs. [/quote]

W cluster = the [b]richer[/b] schools in moco. Completely irrelevant to the conversation but it's always a good time to cla you live near a goodish school (the Ws aren't the best nor are they much better than the rest).[/quote]

FTFY.

-W school alum, who couldn’t be paid to send her kids there

It’s actually not irrelevant, because wealthier teens are more likely to use alcohol and cannabis than less wealthy ones: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3410945/[/quote]

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