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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have 2 kids nearly 2.5 years apart in age. The benefit for having more than one kids is that they have playmates after the baby stage, and they each learn that neither of them have privileges and everything has to be shared. We don’t mean every only child, but those my kids have played with tend to exclude one of my kid, it could be lack of experience to have siblings to “practice” share at home. The cons of having more than one kid is that you may not be able to afford the best for all of your kids, either money or time related.[/quote]
Contrary view: my only child is incredibly generous and willing to share, perhaps because she doesn't worry about competing for resources.  And having a sibling doesn't mean that your kid will want to play with their friend's sibling.  [/quote]

+1.  The sharing / spoiled thing is a weird myth.  My only child is happy to share, happy to do whatever game the playmate wants, etc because she knows she can do her own activities at home.  It's so odd to think there aren't opportunities to "practice" socially -- not only are there playdates, church, cousins, etc., but kids are in school 7 hours a day.  I agree with some of the downsides mentioned elsewhere in this thread, but the idea only children are more frequently selfish or socially maladjusted is silly.

Somebody else recommended the book "One and Only" already, but it's a great read.  It says that onlies basically turn out like first-borns.  Unless you were a twin, every first-born was an only child for some formative years and yet culturally we don't freak out about that ....[/quote]

+2. Also, if your only kid is in daycare like mine, they WILL learn the sharing lesson. Perhaps even more effectively than with siblings. My child had to learn to share with 8 other kids instead of just one or two. Agree with the "One & Only" book rec.

I am a firstborn with a younger sibling and studies show that if there is a large age gap, the elder kid's mentality is basically the same as an only child. I'm biased but I turned out fine![/quote]

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