Reply to Lost my sex drive, what to do to get it back?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Lost my sex drive, what to do to get it back?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you love your spouse and want to keep him, schedule it once a week.

Once every 3-4 months is close to no sex. It's not sustainable.[/quote]

Rest assured her husband is already going elsewhere for his unmet needs. OP: grant him an official hall pass so both of you can just stop pretending. If you ever do find your libido, then monogamy becomes a valid option once again.[/quote]

If he’s already a cheater and a liar who endangers his family and doesn’t prioritize his child, why would she want monogamy with him? Divorce would be a better option.

Assuming he’s a man of integrity— and nothing in her OP suggests otherwise— they can work together to have a mutually satisfying sex life, if it’s important to both of them. If he’s the kind of gross person you suggest he is, all the sex in the world won’t make a good marriage with him.[/quote]

But she does not want sex, therefore monogamy is not really an option for her. Why would she divorce over something so unimportant, that she does not even want, like sex? Obviously she is just fine staying married without sex.
[/quote]

If her husband is cheating, my advice is that she divorce her husband over being a [i]liar[/i], who [i]doesn’t prioritize his young child[/i]  and [i]endangers his spouse[/i].  None of those behaviors have anything to do with sex or it’s relative importance, only a reflection on the kind of man who behaves that way. [/quote]

He deserves a hero medal for prioritizing his marriage and young child by NOT getting divorced, and instead going elsewhere to meet his normal healthy sexual needs. Again WHY divorce over something unimportant like sex? Your argument makes no sense.[/quote]

Ok, PP.  Keep telling yourself that you deserve a "hero medal" for cheating on your wife[/quote]

NP. Keep telling yourself it makes you more moral to divorce and rip your family apart because you want to have sex. Who is the "better" person: the one who marries and divorces 3 times, or the one who stays married for 40 years and has one or two transgressions but remains in their family? What life do you want? It's not so black and white. [/quote]

A cheating spouse is not remaining in their family.  Cheaters check out mentally and emotionally [/quote]

NP.  That isn't universally true, but even if it were, checking out for a few months at a time is STILL better than divorcing/abandoning someone.[/quote]

(Man divorces over sexless marriage) DCUM harpies: "how could he blow up the whole family just to get his dk wet?
(Man STAYS in sexless marriage by meeting his needs elswhere) DCUM harpies: "how could he blow up the whole family just to get his dk wet?[/quote]

(Man improves his sex life by meeting his wife’s needs and putting the work in) This Guy On DCUM: OMG HOOPS AND CHOREPLAY[/quote]

Lol just another hoop for the high sex drive person to jump through. Low sex drive will always move the goal post. There is nothing that can be done for low sex drive. It’s not about your partner it is about you. Your partner is fine you are the problem who is nit normal.[/quote]

DNP: Variations in sex drive, from person to person and over time, is biologically normal, as is age-related decline, particularly after you are no longer physically able to procreate. It is also normal that most people need something to kick start the drive before they are interested (commonly known as wooing and foreplay; also true of most of the animal kingdom). The human body doesn't have a simple on off switch; it actually quite complex. Nonetheless, nobody emerges from puberty thinking it will happen to them. Seems impossible. Yes, we can artificially change this with medication for men and women if we are fine with the associated risks. Yes, there are other ways to try to increase hormone output that work for some but not all bodies, and it is certainly worth a try if you have two consenting parties. Yes, there are some bodies that do not experience this very normal change. In any scenario, marriage can be for a lifetime because you love the other person and build a life with them; eternal sex on demand was never a requirement or a guarantee. If it is an absolute requirement for you, make that clear before you propose that if your spouse becomes unable to have to intercourse for whatever reason - age, disease, injury, paralysis, mental health issue, you becoming intolerable - you will dump him or her for a better model sex toy. Also, in that case, do not put "for better or worse" in your marriage vows, because you don't actually mean it. [/quote]

I am also a DNP to this thread, and I think this is a great take.

I will also tell you as someone who was actually in a sexless marriage for years, whatever people think you SHOULD do becomes irrelevant. The healthy human sex drive pushes people to have sex whether there is some arbitrary moral standard or not. Gay men in Saudi Arabia risk death. Politicians ruin their careers. Tale as old as time.

So the fidelity at all costs v open marriage guy can go back and forth for pages on contract theories but the reality is that someone (man or woman) with a strong sex drive is going to find a way to have sex, usually with their partner but if their partner is unwilling it will eventually be with someone else. This is true regardless of societies moral judgment and especially regardless of what some anonymous poster on this site thinks. It's just hundreds of thousands of years of human nature [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics