Reply to Everyone's Too Busy to Be Friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. I'm really fascinated by all these people saying I should just be lucky to be friends with anyone. That's...not how friendship works, at all.

As I already clarified before, I have zero interest in status chasing, being a "cool mom" or being friends with "cool moms". I want to be friends with people whom I find interesting, whom I'm drawn to, who I click with. That's what genuine friendship is. It's not about what they look like or how much money they make. It's just about having a connection so you can enjoy spending time with them.

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It’s not untrue that genuine friends enjoy spending time with each other and find each other interesting.  But you’re missing the emotional side of it: listening, being empathic, supporting your friends.  I don’t care how “interesting” someone is, if she’s a poor listener, there’s no friendship.  What you describe sounds to me more like great conversation, but that’s not the same as great friendship.

As others have said, and as is true in my experience, if you want a friend, you have to be a friend.  You have to ask how people are doing and genuinely care.  You have to remember important details about them.  You have to listen to them.  And, of course, they have to do the same for you, because if it’s not mutual, it’s also not going anywhere.[/quote]

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