Reply to 6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends

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Reply to "6th grade DD is being excluded from social events with longtime friends"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks for the advice and BTDT on this thread.  I really appreciate people taking a few minutes to share their kids' experiences.

To be clear, my priority is no way my friendships with these girls' parents.  I have plenty of friends from other areas of life (work, grad school, neighbors).  But is it really that unusual to become friends with some of the parents of your kids' friends?  Our kids chose to be friends on their own (in no way social engineered) and I have spent hours upon hours with these people on the sidelines of games, at BBQs, school events.  That evolved into adult dinners, parties, even travel.  My questions was whether I should reach out to find out more about what is going on, again not applying pressure to include DD, just to better understand the source of the problem.  Most of the responses have been a resounding no to this.

DD is not at a super small private, and it expands this year and in 7th, so seeking out friendships with some new kids is a really good idea.   She does tend to be dramatic, and maybe that is a turn off to some of these friends.  But the hurt she is feeling is real, and I've see with my own eyes the overt meanness on multiple occasions, so she is no way making this up in her head.

Thanks again for some of the tangible advice provided about how to help DD develop a thicker skin and become more resilient.  [/quote]

If you feel close enough to the friends sure reach out but I wouldn't push it. I'm not sure there's anything "wrong" with your DD or that she's doing anything "wrong." It's probably just about a match with her and the other girls and their development and personalities as they get older. Friendships change and that's okay. One year my DD was sad she wasn't as close to a friend as she used to be and was sad about it. We talked about how Larla was a great friend in K-2nd and now she's not and that's okay and that maybe she would be a good friend again later or maybe not but that Larla will always have been that great friend growing up and that memory or experience would not change. They are in HS now and she and Larla are very close again. [/quote]

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