Reply to s/o - Aborting because a child is "disabled"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I have a cousin with spina bifida. She had a very difficult childhood filled with painful surgeries. She is now a college-educated, married woman leading a wonderful life.

I also had a pregnancy that I chose to terminate because of Down Syndrome. I did this because while I know that many people with Down Syndrome go on to lead long, healthy lives, I also know of babies who died immediately after birth, at 4 months, and at 21. I've known families that have fallen apart and elderly parents who are spending their last years caring for adult children who cannot take care of themselves. We decided we did not want to take the chance that that could happen to our family. We did not want our older child to have to care for a disabled child after we are gone. I understand that you can never predict the future, but we considered our odds and chose not to take the chance.

That does not mean I do not value the lives of disabled people, like my cousin. I made a choice that I felt was best for my family and it has nothing to do with other families and their choices. I wish everyone the best of luck with their choices.[/quote]

Thank you for posting.  Two of my three children have special needs and while I love them dearly, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.  I used to be surprised with parents of SN kids were so judgmental about others terminating pregnancies because of disability/genetic defects but as I've gotten older I realize there are some people who just can't imagine an experience different than their own or that have some sort of 'you get what you deserve' attitude.  But, they're in the minority.  I'm just grateful we have choices.

- I'd also like to see these pro-life hardliners direct as half much energy and resource towards supporting SN kids and their families as they do on trying to eliminate choice.  Why don't they have an outreach program to support SN families that they can point to?  They could say 'if you have that baby rather than abort it, we'll support you!'.  [/quote]

religious pro life organizations have many outreach and assistance programs for SN kids[/quote]

Please share the names of ones that will come to my house and watch my SN kids while my DH and I just have some time alone together.  I know McClean Bible Church has a center that you can drop your kids off but that's not an option for us because of some of their emotional issues.  I need someone to transport two kids to speech therapy on Mondays at 7:30 am, two kids to occupational therapy on Wednesday at 4:30 pm and one kid to the psychologist on Thursday at 1:30.  We'll need $5,000 to pay outstanding balances for therapies and will need an additional $10,000 to get us through therapy the rest of the year.  I don't care if the money comes directly to us or if it's paid directly to the therapy providers, whatever is easier for the organization.  We also owe $7,500 to the education consultant who fought so hard for the kids to get the services they need in school.  You wouldn't believe how little the school was offering.  They would have fallen further and further behind.  We're on a payment plan with her but it would wonderful not to have that hanging over us.  By the time we get it paid off, it'll be time for the annual reviews.  Do they also have vacation houses/condos?  It would be wonderful to take the kids to the beach.  They've never been and we certainly can't afford to rent anything.  We'd love to do something like DisneyWorld (I hear they're very accomodating of SN kids) but that's probably too much.  We'll need someone to come to the house three times a week after school so DH and I can work out.  We just don't have the energy for exercise because of what we're dealing with and our physical/mental health has really suffered because of it.  It would be great to have time for ourselves to work out.  Oh!  I almost forgot the medications!  Soem of the medications aren't available in generic form and our monthly medical bill is in the $1,500-$2,000 range.  Again, I don't care if the money comes to us directly or if payment is made directly to the pharmacy.  DD will also need some mouth work soon.  Does your organization have an oral surgeon and orthodontist on staff or will you providing money for that?[/quote]

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