Reply to Mom with 1 kid vs more kids have more time/energy for herself

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Mom with 1 kid vs more kids have more time/energy for herself"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]working full time with no help and a bunch of kids makes no sense in this county and i am not sympathetic for the people who decide to live that life.[/quote]

As a PP with three kids and who works FT, I don’t want or need your sympathy.  I chose this life.  Just don’t tell me I must be a shitty mother because I work and have three kids.  That’s all.[/quote]

NP. So angry! And too bad, we can say whatever we want. You do sound like a s****y mother because you’re so annoying and hypocritical. [/quote]

LOL - a little projection early on a Saturday, huh?[/quote]

Right?  So from this thread I’ve gathered:

You’re a shitty mom if you work, have a “bunch of kids” and have no help. But you’re also a shitty mom if you have a nanny because “Nannie’s are not a replacement” for a parent. Also if you have multiple kids, you’ll be financially poor because they’re so expensive. But also your multiple children will fight over your estate (what estate? You’re poor) in 40 years. Also your kids won’t be close as adults, despite the fact that you know lots of adults who are close with their siblings, because some guy’s wife hates her sister so all siblings in the world must really hate their siblings, they just don’t share that with you. 
 
[/quote]

+1. This is great! I would add that parents of onlies have the best life because they have more time and money for their child and their ice skating and pottery lessons, but are also closer to their mid because they can focus all of their time (when not ice skating) on their 1 child.[/quote]

You’re not wrong though.[/quote]

Then why do the ones on this thread spend so much time telling us parents of more than one what selfish, shitty parents they were?  Or is that part of living your best life?[/quote]

I agree people on this thread have been very hard on the parents of more than one for some reason. I don't think it's necessary.

However, IRL I find it's the reverse -- people tend to be very critical of people with only children and will openly just tell you that having one kid is going to mess them up. I have an only not-by-choice (secondary infertility) and I can't even count the number of times friends, parents, teachers at my kids school, etc., have said some version of "yes, your child will struggle because they don't have a sibling."

I think perhaps parents of only children get defensive because we hear this stuff so much and that might account for some of the unkindness on this thread. When you've been told for years that you're selfish for only having one, and that it will result in a weird, lonely child, you might spend some time working up arguments for why that's false. And it is false! There are happy only children and there are unhappy kids with siblings. And vice versa. Number of kids is really not the critical choice people make it out to be. As someone who didn't really have much say in how many kids I had, I can assure you that it turns out you can be very happy even if it doesn't work out as planned. I'm not religious but I sometimes find myself thinking that my inability to have a second was a blessing because I am so happy with my only now. I'm guessing there are lots of parents of "oops" children who feel the same. Turns out family size is what you make of it.[/quote]

I’m the PP you’re quoting, and I completely agree.  That people criticize parents of only children is appalling, on so many levels.  MYOB, people.  I understand feeling defensive; how could you not, when people won’t shut up about it?

Also appalling: insisting that any parent of 3+ kids is neglectful.  Two wrongs don’t make a right.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics