Reply to If you are married to a big law partner, how involved are they in your family's home life?

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Reply to "If you are married to a big law partner, how involved are they in your family's home life?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]No one’s experience is universal, but you’re kidding yourself if you think you really “know” the “many” Biglaw partners you think you do. You don’t know what they’re really thinking at all. You may not even know what your husband is really thinking, but I’ll let that one be.

As for your husband being “friends” with his clients, they are “friendships” of convenience and necessity. Who else is he supposed to be friends with when he’s so busy with work and family? There’s no room for friends other than clients and colleagues.

When I was a Biglaw partner, I too had a social life largely based around clients and colleagues. But I also left room for real froends. And when I left my firm - and the practice of law entirely - what I can’t believe has already been almost a decade ago, I literally never heard from any of them ever again almost overnight. Everything about Biglaw is shallow and artificial.[/quote]

Well, my DH is sitting next to me right now confirming that what I wrote  is accurate.  We vacation with three of his partners and their families, and regularly meet with them in our beach town. One is older (69) and starting to ramp down towards retirement, so it’s a topic we discuss fairly frequently.  As for his clients, the friendships may have started out of necessity or convenience, but since we go out with some when we are visiting their city and he keeps in touch with others who have left their jobs and are no longer in a position to send him business, I think those qualify as true friendships.  He also has another group of friends that he plays tennis with, meets for beers and travels with to Big10 football games, so he clearly has room for others.

Sounds like you hated your job. I hated BigLaw, too.  My DH does not and never has, and neither do the guys ge practices with.  Why are you so invested in insisting this can’t be right? It’s comical, and your sweeping absolutes (“Everything about BigLaw is shallow and artificial”) make ever you say less credible, because you leave no room fir anyone to have an experience different than your own.[/quote]

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