Reply to 17 Year Old Custody Schedule

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]OP should go the dirty route and tell her DS, "I"m with you, but unfortunately your d/ck dad isn't on board so you have to go whether you like it or not. Now you understand why we are divorced."[/b]

But she won't. She'll continue taking the high road, despite the people complaining that SHE is somehow undermining the father's relationship, when it's the DS himself who no longer wants to go. You're a good mom, OP.

I would never post on DCUM seeking validation or advice about visitation or custody or child support -- there is an unhealthy anti-single mom group here that dominates every thread on the subject. They're terrible and have no idea what there relationships are actually like. Good luck, OP. You're almost at the finish line.[/quote]  I'm the poster right above this post.  This is such an immature way to handle this.  Not to mention it's creating your son to have bitter resentment feelings towards his father.  Don't do this, OP. [/quote]

You never ever say that to your child.  Dad isn't being a d/ck by wanting to see his child 4 days a month.[/quote]

More reading comprehension issues. I'm the PP that posted the "suggestion." I thought it was obvious that it was tongue-in-cheek -- I even said OP wouldn't do it and would continue taking the high road and called her a good mom for that reason.

Of course no good mom will ever say a thing like that, because she cares about her kid -- even though it's the truth that these "fathers' rights" posters want to pretend doesn't exist. It's like, if we aren't allowed to say it out loud then it can't be real. It's real. Your relationship with your kids is not "mommy's fault." Grow up.[/quote]

Dad has twice a month visitation.  He is  asking for his twice a month visitation.  Mom and child are trying to reduce the schedule to no or one time a month.  So, the relationship is mom's fault if she is telling the child its ok to miss visits.  You cannot complain Dad is not involved when you don't even allow him his minimum visitation.  He is effectively not a parent, so yes it is 100% on mom as she has him full time 24/7 except two weekends a month.  Dad cannot parent two weekends a month and those are just visits.[/quote]

I can't tell if you are serious or if you just like to argue. The mom is not trying to take his visitation away. [b]The son doesn't want to spend 2 weekends there. [/b]A visitation schedule for a teenager is different than that of a preschooler. Kids grow up and their needs change. No one is saying the dad can't see his kid.[b] The kid is saying he doesn't want to spend two full weekends with him because he has other things going on in his life.[/b] This is not unreasonable. What's unreasonable is a father refusing to be flexible. It's no wonder the kid doesn't want to be there two weekends a month.[/quote]

OP here again.

The biggest problem is the distance to his dad's house.  If his dad lived in our town, and DS could easily get to whatever his friends were doing on weekends, or get to school/extracurricular events, this wouldn't be nearly as big of an issue.  I don't really think DS would care where he slept at night as long as he could go do all of his stuff easily.

I know some people have said an hour and 15 minute drive isn't that far, but it is when you don't have your own car., and you're a busy teenager.  DS is a busy kid - sports, AP classes, friends, part time job, etc.  It's the distance from all of this stuff that makes this so hard.  DS adamantly says, over and over again, "I don't want to be away from my entire life two full weekends a month anymore."  I sympathize with that.  I also sympathize with his dad wanting to see DS, although I think it's unreasonably stubborn of him to not even listen to what DS's concerns are or consider alternatives, especially when we only have 9 more months of this.

I know some people suggested that I just give DS my car for the weekend, but I work weird hours that include weekend work, so I need my car on weekends.  And dad refuses to let him drive his car at all.

Yes, I have read everyone's suggestions that I can punish DS and withhold electronics/ground him and enforce consequences like that if he won't abide by the schedule.  But then I'm just driving a wedge between me and DS and making him resent me as well.  I guess I'll have to suck it up and deal with that resentment for the next year.[/quote]

If dad has money, can he buy a beater car? Would it be less annoying to your son if it was one day a week? I realize he's probably just being a control freak and not actually trying to problem solve. [/quote]

OP here:  dad will not buy a car or pay for insurance.  He thinks DS should save up and buy his own car.  I'm trying to help DS do that.[/quote]

How is he supposed to do that when he can only work every other weekend?

Your ex sounds like a real gem. [/quote]

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