Reply to Were we supposed to bring a card $$ to the wedding?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. It was a bridal shower, not wedding shower, sorry I mistyped. [b]I was invited but declined[/b] due to baby and not being able to travel easily. I sent the bride a card with some kind words and printed a poem on fancy stationery since they asked people to bring a poem or song or reading about love to the shower that they assembled into a book for the bride. I had only met the bride once and didn't know the shower host so I sent my poem via the groom's mother.

I guess it might have been around the same time as the shower that my husband sent the gift from the registry. He filled out all our family names on the gift message, and the store should have flagged him and the buyer, but the thank you card for that gift was made out only to me, now that I think about it.

Thanks for all the replies. Glad to learn that while we may have missed the cultural etiquette on the card box, it's still not polite to be tracked down this way. It was the fanciest wedding I've ever attended, so it did strike me a little bit like they might be trying to recoup costs, but I'll try to read it in the best possible light, "bless her heart."[/quote]

OP didn't go to the shower she was invited to but sent a gift around the same time, well before the wedding. I'm guessing bride was confused and thought it was the shower gift since it was so early for a wedding gift.  Instead of giving 2 separate gifts for the 2 events, OP sent one generous gift. I will guess bride wasn't sure what was going on and made the misstep of asking OP about it and OP got offended. Bride should have just left it alone.[/quote]

Now that the OP has explained it, it does make sense. Generally if I am invited to a bridal shower that I can't attend, I'll send a small gift. I don't think the OP was obligated to send a gift, but if they sent a gift right around the time of the bridal shower, it makes sense that the bride would think it was a shower gift.[/quote]

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