Reply to Who pays for wedding discussion

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Who pays for wedding discussion"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents sat my fiancé and I down and said they’d pay 30k. They didn’t care what wedding we had or if we saved it all for a new home, but they wanted to be there to witness. They wrote us the check that night and had no strings attached. We spent 40k and had our entire families and friends present.

My in-laws didn’t say anything. Later on they mumbled something about a rehearsal dinner. Dh and I were super broke and could afford much (his car just died). We planned a rehearsal dinner we could afford- $350. And that is the only thing they gave us as a wedding gift. It also came a month after the wedding. Long after we paid off our credit card bill. Still perplexed by the whole thing. My [b]In-laws barely covered their plate at our wedding. [/b]Whatever. They paid 50k and 70k for their daughters weddings a few years later. I never mentioned it but won’t do that to my son. My daughters and son will all get the same amount. [/quote]

This is such an ugly expression.[/quote]

Sons and daughters get the same for a wedding from us:  $0.  Both have had K-12 private school, college, and grad school (upcoming) paid for by us.  We will not contribute to the excesses of the wedding industry.  If they want that, they can pay for it.[/quote]

They did not choose private school, you did.  [/quote]

How greedy can you be? Paying for grad school will set those kids up for success far more than paying for a wedding will ever be. If someone was smart and good with money they would choose paid for grad school over a wedding. You can always scale the wedding appropriately to fit any budget, not so much with school which is a fixed cost.[/quote]

Some people are so entitled!  Parents can choose how to spend their money. They do not owe their kids a wedding.   Most would agree that spending on education is probably the best thing a parent can do to set kids up for success.  If adult kids want an expensive wedding they can find a way to pay for it.  I find that people obsessed with a wedding that is more than they can afford often are not focused on the real purpose, which is to get married.

35 years ago, I had 2 weddings and we spent ~$6K.   Church wedding with reception at the church, including a lunch and the other ceremony at a different location later that day.   No alcohol as church didn't allow it and we were young and couldn't afford it.  My parents gave us $2k and that was a huge stretch for them.  In-laws could not afford to give us anything.  Parents told me I had $300 to spend on a dress, if I wanted to spend more for something I would wear for 5 hours tops, then I could pay for it.  So I found 2 dresses I loved---one was $100 the other $800 and I went with the $100 because it seemed silly to spend an extra $700 that I didn't have.  We had an amazing day with friends and family and didn't end up in debt.  Would have been stupid for us to spend $20K on a wedding and a huge party when we didn't have the money saved.

35 years later, still happily married and wouldn't change anything about our wedding.  It's the adventure in life that matters most, not the one single day that "officially starts it all".

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics