Reply to I hate the comments my husband makes about what I eat.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here -

I’m the same weight I was when I met my DH 8+ years ago. I was 5lbs lighter when we got married bc of the stress of the wedding. If I’m not DH’s type, he’s had plenty of time to go find someone who is his type.

Thanks for the constructive feedback on how to approach his unhelpful comments. For the record, his body isn’t perfect either but I’m still attracted to him. We are intimate 2-3x/week. [/quote]

Is this a new thing?

I don’t ask to make one of those obnoxious “well why did you marry him?” comments, I’m just curious about what’s going on. Its one thing if this was a flaw you overlooked before and if he always felt entitled to comment, but if it’s something that started up suddenly I feel like there must have been some impetus for it, like maybe something happened that made him feel insecure or something. (I’m also not making a “he’s cheating comment” lol). [/quote]

OP here - it’s a new thing. We go out to eat all the time and he never bats an eye if I order a side or fries or something. We used to eat out a lot together in our dating days. He seems to only make the comments at home. What’s weird about it is he often brings home a little sweet treat or something for me on his way home from work. Yet he seems to only make comments when I’m cooking/eating at home. [/quote]

If it just started, you should call him out.  Maybe he doesn't realize how it comes off. Maybe it's jealousy bc he feels like you eat more/better stuff than him but he is struggling w his body.  I dunno.  But you should tell him it bothers you and that it has to stop[/quote]

This is 100% about him - approach him in those terms.  Not "I am hurt because ..." but "wow, I've noticed you've been making weird comments that seem really out of character for you - are you ok?  What is going on with you?  And yes, I assume these comments are addressed at me because I am the closest person you have to - but you know these aren't acceptable, and if they continue [INSERT YOUR ENFORCEABLE BOUNDARY HERE: eg, I will ignore you and walk away / I will no longer eat with you /etc."]  You can't MAKE him do anything, but you can decide how you are going to think and act about this situation.[/quote]

"Are you ok?" - what kind of a question is that?! It's not like he fell on the floor...[/quote]

It's a question to ask when you someone you care about and know well starts to act out of character.  Another way to put it:  Is there something you want to talk about?

OP - any chance he is feeling guilty about something (infidelity / money / other lies?) and he is transferring his own self-loathing to you?[/quote]

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