Reply to Found alcohol- about to bring it up to my DH

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[quote=Anonymous]I think it sounds like OP and her DH need to go to a joint therapist.  I can’t tell whether the DH is doing a secret shot of peppermint schnapps every night in the shower (I) because he has a drinking problem or (ii) because the OP is abusive and controlling about alcohol.

Let’s say the DH did not have a drinking problem in the clinical/mental health sense.  And back in college he got really drunk several times. Not “alcoholic” drunk, but the kind of drunk that many of us did in college.  But because Op carries  this baggage about an alcoholic father, she insisted he give up all alcohol forever. And then fast forward ten years and he doesn’t want to give up all alcohol. He was at a work event that had peppermint schnapps and he had a shot and enjoyed it. And he’d like to enjoy a shot at home every night to relax before bed. No getting drunk. No addiction. Just a single shot of a low alcohol drink.  But he absolutely can’t tell OP because she’ll go bonkers on him.  On that scenario, does the DHs secret drinking suggest a drinking problem?  Or an abusive spouse relationship?

Appreciate the facts are a little different here because the alcohol in college apparently led to pretty severe drunkenness (I don’t think that means alcoholism though? Just a bad chemical response?) and because op is not so controlling as to bar all alcohol in the house.  So not as clear cut as the scenario above. But I’m still not sure this guy has a drinking problem vs a controlling wife problem. [/quote]

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