Reply to If you come from a FUNCTIONAL family, why resent/dislike people from dysfunctional families?

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Reply to "If you come from a FUNCTIONAL family, why resent/dislike people from dysfunctional families?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here.  This struck a nerve.  I feel very judged by a former close friend for getting divorced.  She hasn’t given details, but did admit to being uncomfortable with what l “chose to do” when l asked her what was going on with her decreased level of communication with me, and said she doesn’t have the bandwidth to think about why she’s uncomfortable.

Which tells me I’m not that important to her.  She’s rather not think about it and avoid me.  I find it very unkind, as we were very close, but now it’s made me not want to be friends with her either.  Who needs friends like that?

I do have friends who’ve been very supportive and I consider myself pretty darn functional.

Not letting yourself think about hard things to support a friend - besides being unkind that also seems dysfunctional to me.  Emotionally shut down.  [/quote]

I agree with you, PP. I also think inherent in the human condition is "drama" and that drama, whether divorce, infidelity, loss, death, sickness, unemployment, etc, etc - is where friends are a really important source of support. While I would never share my personal life at work, when it comes to my personal circle of friends, I think part of a being a functional person is being available to support people in times of crisis (and also in times of joy and celebration).

I would never shut down a friend who needed a supportive ear or "gray rock" someone who was opening up to me at a time of need. How cruel! Thankfully, I have dear friends who reciprocate. All of us have weathered some hard times over the years and its because we were there for each other and listened, offered a hand, and stepped up that made a difference. This thread makes me appreciate them even more. So many posters have a very superficial view of what being a "functional" or "dysfunctional" person really means. [/quote]

Thanks. I’m the one who divorced and you’ve articulated this very well.  [/quote]

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