Reply to If you come from a FUNCTIONAL family, why resent/dislike people from dysfunctional families?

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Reply to "If you come from a FUNCTIONAL family, why resent/dislike people from dysfunctional families?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here.  This struck a nerve.  I feel very judged by a former close friend for getting divorced.  She hasn’t given details, but did admit to being uncomfortable with what l “chose to do” when l asked her what was going on with her decreased level of communication with me, and said she doesn’t have the bandwidth to think about why she’s uncomfortable.

Which tells me I’m not that important to her.  She’s rather not think about it and avoid me.  I find it very unkind, as we were very close, but now it’s made me not want to be friends with her either.  Who needs friends like that?

I do have friends who’ve been very supportive and I consider myself pretty darn functional.

Not letting yourself think about hard things to support a friend - besides being unkind that also seems dysfunctional to me.  Emotionally shut down.  [/quote]

I think she said what she said to avoid having a conversation with you if you're going to be confrontational.  It sounds like she knows why she doesn't support your choice and she is preferring to avoid having to tell you why.  So drop it.  If that means you drop her as a friend, then so be it.  I don't see her choice as dysfunctional, I see it as wanting to avoid having a confrontational conversation with you.[/quote]

I did drop it and l wasn’t confrontational.  I asked her once what was going on.  Personally the friendship was worth it to me to try to find out what was going on and see if l could do anything to help it.  So ya l still feel like she was unkind and didn’t care much about the friendship, and that hurt but I’ve moved on.  The crap part now is l still see her at stuff with mutual friends. [/quote]

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