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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do not judge one tiny iota anyone, in any situation, who hires any level of paid help.

I have to admit that I judge a teensy bit people who use their parents or in-laws as a full-time unpaid nanny.  I don't mean as an occasional babysitter, or part-time help during some afternoons or days of the week; I mean like 40- or 50 hour a week kind of set-up.  I just don't understand how one could be comfortable having their parents spending this time in their lives that way.[/quote]

It’s 100% what my in-laws want. Any time I even plan a long trip without them seeing the kids they get upset. And they often text me asking me to bring the kids by on the weekend because they miss them. [/quote]

They need to cut the cord.  They want you to bring the kids by on the weekend because they haven't had time to cultivate a life in this phase (since they are watching your kids all week).  My healthy, able-bodied parents do date-night babysitting for my kids (and my nieces and nephews), they pick up the older kids one afternoon from school and spend it with them, they have a monthly sleep-over, they step in as back-up care if something goes amiss, and we do tons of family activities with the grandparents on the weekend.  They are doting grandparents who are extremely close with all their grandkids.  But do you know how my parents spend the rest of their time?  They work out/exercise (sooo good for their health!!), they read several books a week, my mom volunteers with a religious organization and has become a volunteer docent at a museum.  She's made so many new friends through those activities, who she spends time with.  My dad gardens.  He's looking into diving.  They spend time with friends and travel.  You should insist on cutting back the in-laws hours so they cultivate a life![/quote]

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