Reply to Husband left two-year-old twins home alone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No this is not divorce worthy.  But you are also not overreacting - they could have gotten seriously hurt.

However, this is a mistake that I could see someone making maybe once in a lifetime.  Work on a better communication system between you guys and move on.[/quote]

This, above, x1,000.

Not divorce worthy. That is your (understandable!) rage and intense fear talking, OP. And it's justifiable to feel anger and fear-- 30 minutes for a toddler alone totally unsupervised has immeasurable potential for accidents.

But please heed the PP's line above: "This is a mistake that I could see someone making maybe once in a lifetime.  Work on a better communication system between you guys and move on."

OP, please wait until you have cooled down a little -- not because you are wrong to be upset and angry (you are not wrong) BUT because it's difficult to communicate clearly when one is upset and angry, and you need him to hear your words, not just your anger. You need to ask him why, when you are gone at that time every day, he [i]made an assumption and then did not check in on you to be sure you knew he was leaving the house.[/i] That should never happen again, ever. Establish a rule always to check in--both of you.

Also: Was something different about today? Yes, you make this run daily and he should know that (is he working at home and that's why he should know that schedule?). But was something different today? He had a meeting online or on the phone that was unexpected, and it distracted him from remembering the schedule? He was going out to pick up something at a place that was about to close and he felt rushed and was focused o that, and so made a stupid assumption? And so forth. Sit down and calmly, with him, walk through why today was any different or more distracting. This is NOT to make excuses for him, or to bash him with his actions (he surely feels bad enough--right?) but to analyze this a little and figure out how to prevent its ever happening again. Also, OP, do you usually tell him that your'e leaving the house? If I were heading out to pick up one kid and the other two were there at home, I'd likely at least call out to DH that I was going out the door, and I'd want a response from him. Maybe that can be part of the routine as well. [/quote]

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