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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I dated a man last year for like 6 weeks, had sex, and then he lost interest and wanted casual after previously initiating monogamy. I’m now dating again.and wondering what are signs a man will end up losing interest after sex one time?[/quote]

Where did you have sex, at his house or somewhere else? In my experience men looking for casual sex won't be introducing you to friends, family or bring sexual partner to his house. And even if they do, they would expect you to be "on call" driving to his house whenever he wants "a date".

Try next time to stretch it into 3 months, short termers usually loose patience if no sex happens with a few weeks[/quote]

Lol, you think a guy that is desirable to women (even one open to, or looking for, monogamy) is going to wait 3 months for sex??[/quote]

Yes. [/quote]

Yes, absolutely. [/quote]

Only loser guys with no options, or the occasional bible thumper, would wait that long. Also, a woman who waits 3 months out of some sort of game playing weirdness would not be a good monogamous partner anyway. [/quote]

The problem is - and every woman has experienced this - is that we start dating a guy who says he’s really into us and is looking for a relationship. Then we sleep with him, and suddenly he disappears. Or he stops putting in any effort and just wants to be f*ck buddies. Or in some other way makes it clear he just wanted sex.

Because it’s so hard to tell which men genuinely like us and which just want to get laid, we have to come up with things like “don’t sleep with them for 3 months”. It really sucks to get emotionally invested in someone and believe there’s a future, when they have a different idea. It’s not playing games, it’s to keep us from getting hurt (and from getting STDs, since guys like that are likely sleeping with other women, too).

It would be one thing if these guys were upfront and let us know they didn’t want a relationship, or weren’t sure about the future. But they don’t. I can handle “I’m not sure if you’re the woman I want to commit to, but I think we have great chemistry and would love to have sex”. Then I can make an informed decision. What I can’t handle is “I really like you a lot and see this going somewhere”, only to be ghosted a week later.

If you have a better method of weeding out men who are serious from the guys who just want to get laid, let us know. And “don’t get emotionally invested” isn’t an answer. I have no interest in sex without some level of emotion, and won’t harden myself to be able to have sex with a guy I like knowing he may be misleading me. [/quote]

There is a middle ground where people can have a fulfilling, sexual dating relationship where it is initially unclear how serious it is going to be.  You should embrace that. Lots of people, including me, have had long term relationships that started with what I thought was going to be a one night stand.  My guess is that you come on way too strong after the first time you have sex and it freaks out the guy you are dating. Just approach safe sex like something you greatly enjoy. But don’t push for “emotional investment”. For most guys, the emotional connection and sex are completely independent. You have to accommodate that dynamic to a certain degree or you will come off as overbearing.   [/quote]

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