Reply to Do you secretly resent DH for not making enough money for you to be a SAHM?

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Reply to "Do you secretly resent DH for not making enough money for you to be a SAHM?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]21:27, I don't equate people's worth with their income either.  I was making a point with an inflammatory remark.  I wrapped up a woman's decision to WOH in the most insulting way. Not because I really feel like WOHM are abandoning their children - but to serve as a rebuttal to the remarks made on this thread that seem to cast SAHM as backwards for making a choice to stay home.

My saying it is unfair to the kids to WOH - is like the PPs who said it is unfair to DH NOT to work. Casting WOH as selfish - like casting SAH as 1950s.....

Tyring to make a point is all.[/quote]

Well, when you are deliberately insulting you may be disrespectful in ways you do not intend.  You come across as an elitist bitch.  I have been a SAHM and I did not find any of the posts insulting towards SAHM.  I think your grasp of this discussion is weak and you are insecure about your choices.  Tired of people being bitchy on this forum and thinking they are effectively "making a point."    [/quote]

I know some families have no choice financially but for both parents to WOH, and I respect that.  I also know that some families DO have a choice and both choose to WOH because it works for them and believe it or not, I respect that too.  But my decision to SAH was a CHOICE,  and one that I believe should be respected.

[b]It is the glaring double standard that bothers me. [/b] Tell me, why is it OK to say things like "It is entirely UNFAIR to DH for me not to work!" but it is inflammatory to say "It is entirely UNFAIR to the kids for both parents to WOH!"  What is the difference?  Please, enlighten me.  Why is perfectly OK to reference SAHMs as "bizarre", "1950's" and as "subscribing to gender stereotypes?"

When my first DC was born, I was in the very fortunate position to decide WHATEVER I wanted to.  I have an excellent education, advanced degrees, enough money to have paid for full time care and still brought home a salary worth contributing - in the end, my personal desire to be home with my children while they are young trumped all.  This was a decision fully supported by DH - if I had decided to WOH, he would have equally supported that.  My being home, (he has often reminded me while thanking me for all that I do) makes his work life LESS stressful.

This is what works for our family and not because I am lazy, lack ambition or because I felt like this was my role as a woman.  We haven't moved forward if women are still getting categorized/labeled/criticized for not making the "correct" choices of the day.  And it goes BOTH ways.

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