Reply to In an affair, who "wins"? The wife or the mistress?

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Reply to "In an affair, who "wins"? The wife or the mistress?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Not true at all. Everyone I know would think both adults are gross, would not trust either one and people would definitely gossip about it - even though they might be polite to the adults in person.

Not the PP but nope. Most people do not care.

In the few cases I can think of where someone we know has married their AP, the new couple is warmly welcomed to social events and the XW has gone off the deep end with crazed bitterness. I will admit that in one case the AP was quite young and that raised some eyebrows, but now that we've gotten to know her she's actually lovely.[/quote]

NP. Plenty of people care and gossip about it.  Just because your crowd is ok with it does not mean that "most" are.  Cheating is a huge data point as to character and cheaters are by definition liars and selfish. You are crazy if you think these traits are confined only to their affair.  So, yes I would definitely have major walls up around the cheaters and would discuss all of this with the rest of our friend group who feels the same, and none of us would be including that couple on vacations, etc.  I can't hang out with people I do not respect or trust.[/quote]

I think it depends where people wind up. If they stay in the same neighborhood and friend group yes, people will gossip and some will take sides (we had this in our friend group and everyone “chose” the wife while the philandering husband was ostracized). But if they move or switch their kids schools, no one will know or care.[/quote]

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