Reply to Professional couples are on the rise, but it’s not increasing income inequality

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] [quote]

DP here. We live in McLean and I have a kid at Cooper. We live in an expensive neighborhood. Our house is $3m and most of the areas in our immediate neighborhood around Cooper/Langley are $2-5m.

I do not know any single moms. I do know several divorced and blended families. Dad is in the picture and we usually have a relationship with both parents. I usually text or email both the mom and dad when making plans or coordinating with the kids.

And we know plenty of high earning women. I used to be a high earning mom but I am now a sahm with 3 kids. Dh recently reminded me that I spend 10-20k on my Amex every month. I spend more now than when I actually worked.

I know there are mothers by choice but I don’t personally know any in our friend circles. In preschool, we knew one mom who was single. I never knew or asked where the dad was but she was a true single mom. She eventually moved to be closer to her family.[/quote]

Please share what you spend 10-12k on monthly in McLean, I for one am enjoying these details and find them relevant. [/quote]

We spend a lot on travel. Winter break was probably 20k. I just booked spring break and one summer camp for each kid.

I also just signed up my kids for spring sports and it cost a few grand each kid.

Trying to figure out our summer plans. We will travel half. Friend just sent us a camp that costs $5k.

We eat high quality foods so probably spend 2-3k on food. It all adds up.[/quote]

This is so pathetic new money. [/quote]

Obvi plastic surgery, laser hair removal, vaginal tightening, PRP injections, fillers, cool sculpting, , Marie Kondo/Home Edit-y thingies, etc. [/quote]

How would old money spend money?

Do old money kids not travel or play sports?[/quote]

We do, but we don't say omg I'm spending 3K on quality foods every month. It's kind of a given and it's not truly 3K, unless one has a ton of kids. To me, it means that you were not raised on quality foods. Also, the vacations are a give away. We barely spend $ on vacations, because we have a house in Breckenridge and my ILs have a huge house in Sanibel. When we go to Europe we stay at my brother's place in Paris or in Greece.
And I disagree about the plastic surgery part. My mom and her friends all have facelifts, the 85K ones that don't look like facelifts, and they leave some wrinkles for "character". No need for lipo or cool sculpting, because they don't eat. Carolina Herrera is their goddess.  [/quote]

Who would actually talk about their Amex bill in real life and tell someone how much they spend on food?

My kids eat a lot. We love food. It is very much a part of our lives. They eat a ton, are very active and all stick thin. Luckily I am naturally thin and I also enjoy working out. My mom is obsessed with healthy eating so you are wrong there.

We have a lot of friends with old money, new money and no money. We don’t pick our friends on their financial status. [/quote]

🤣 this is peak DCUM[/quote]

I know who this is! It's that crazy one who says she loves to keep having kids and she can't help it. She was berating people for not having 4-5 children. She gets super defensive and gets into minutiae about her uterus and stomach after each pregnancy. Let me find the post so I can link it. Same writing style and insane details.  [/quote]

I found her! This is our McLean mom with the 3K monthly grocery bill. It's a long thread, but if you read it from the start, you can see how she's getting out of control with the explanations. This was her response, while some Black moms wrote that they stopped at one because they almost died during childbirth.

"I’ve always wanted 4 kids, so if people want to have fewer to offset my strong drive to reproduce, it’s a win for us all. "
"That’s fine with me. I love having tons of kids around, love being pregnant, love the baby stage, love it all. Some people wanna spend their life traveling or on hobbies, I want to spend mine raising kids."
"PP. For sure there are compromises, but we’re not sending our kids to garbage schools and foraging for food in dumpsters. Kids go to a great charter school. We eat better quality food than most because I’m great at cooking and meal planning. I don’t spend 2 hours reading at night, we incorporate learning and reading throughout our day and into other activities. We’re not traveling to Europe anytime soon, but we all love camping and regularly travel to camp, which is cheap. Kids are all at the top of their class and are regularly in the 98-99th percentile on standardized tests. I volunteer 15+ hours a week at school so I can be with kids more and keep an eye on how they’re doing, and work 15 hours a week from home. H works a super flexible job with great work-life balance so he’s very involved. Pregnancy has been easy, I spent my first pregnancy reading everything I could on how to preserve your body and did tons of exercises to keep everything in working order. Now I just maintain those exercises and keep up strength training, and pregnancy is easy peasy. No prolapses or even leaking. These things were a priority for me so I did the work to make it happen. Three kids total with number 4 on the way  Oh also, get rid of the screens. That made a huge difference. Guarantee my kids get more family and one-on-one time than the singleton kids I know who are on screens 3-4 hours a day because mom and dad are busy working.
And I’m not even the worst offender I know, lol. I know one family with 4 biological kids, 4 adopted kids, and at any given moment they are fostering 2-4 more. Mom is a SAHM, dad works a Fed job. Kids are all great and the family is pleasant to be around. Mom and dad even have time for dates and hobbies while still being highly involved with their kids.
There’s compromises with everything. I have a friend who has decided to prioritize travel and new experiences, so he takes overseas jobs in the Middle East that pay extremely well so he can blow $20-30k per vacation several times a year. He’d like a relationship but recognizes very few women want that lifestyle, so he’s at peace with being single. Or I have a friend who got divorced and decided to invest everything they had in their one child, so took a huge career hit, never got remarried or even dated, never had more children even though they wanted to. Or my sister, who decided not to have children so she could focus on a very challenging but rewarding career, and feel less stressed about money. You have to decide what is most valuable to you and make the necessary sacrifices."

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/345/1016518.page[/quote]

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