Reply to I was so naive re marriage, career and kids

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[quote=Anonymous]OP most men, including apparently your husband, are not really prepared for the amount of work a baby means. Some sink (like your husband) some swim. You’re just picking up the slack from a more unusual position of breadwinner and longer-hours spouse. No woman who is the primary caregiver gets to offload all of the cooking and cleaning, you’re just living in a sexist reality.

So ask your husband about it during a time things are calm. Ask him whether his expectation really is that you will do all of the cooking and all of the cleaning and that is a reasonable division or labor, or is he coming from a place of fatigue and resentment and needs to vent? Is he willing to step up more and bring in more income so you can work less? Would you be willing to work less if he did?

The deck is stacked against him taking on certain things. Pediatrician and daycare default to calling me no matter how often we told them to call dad, so the social sexism is making his job harder too,  not just yours. Can you guys be on a team about this or not, and if not, what’s the best way ahead? You will have more downtime if he has custody 50% but you may also have more difficulty keeping this job you like.[/quote]

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