Reply to Wife wears sweatpants every day.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will give the OP a brief benefit of the doubt by asking a follow up: OP what do you mean by “dressed up”. Do you mean a dress and heels or do you mean jeans and a cute sweater?

Your wife not wanting to perform for you (and a dress and heels for no particular reason is a performance, especially since they typically come with shaved or waxed legs and makeup and done hair) should absolutely not be something that “pisses you off”. That’s a drastic overreaction. If your frustration is over being limited in restaurant venues to places that consider sweats acceptable, you have my sympathy.[/quote]

I'm the OP. I am not exactly sure what "performing" means. But if it means looking sexually enticing in public, I do not care about that. Nor do I care about heels or makeup. I have always thought makeup is kind of weird. But there comes a point where she has been wearing sweatpants every day for more than two years gets frustrating. I feel like its sort of a symbol of giving up on ever trying to look good for your partner. And it also has the unwanted side-effect of limiting date venues.[/quote]

This sounds like a control issue for you, then. Explore why it’s important to you to be able to tell your wife what she can’t wear/how often she can’t wear something.[/quote]

This advice does not make any sense. How does OP's wanting his wife to dress up sometimes = OP thinks it is important to tell his wife what she can wear. One is a preference, which we all have, and the other is a command. The two concepts are not remotely similar.[/quote]

It’s not the wanting. As you say, thats a preference to which he is entitled.  It is the fact that he describes himself as pissed off because she is not actively trying to please him that is controlling. [/quote]

The poor guy wants his wife to occasionally put on some jeans and he’s controlling? Yikes, I bet you are fun at parties![/quote]

DP. I wouldn't use the word controlling, exactly. But it feels like he and some of the other posters here are a little too identified with their marriages. Do I like it when my partner looks nice? Sure. Do I care what he chooses to wear? Um, no. I don't think twice about it because I have a life. And I feel confident enough in myself not to feel like what someone else does in their daily life has anything to do with me.

When you're confident it helps other people around you feel good about themselves. OP should try nitpicking less -- maybe his wife will start to shine a little more.[/quote]

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