Reply to Should I excuse DH from nighttime duties?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DCUM: night nurses are great and don’t make you a bad mom at all. 
Also DCUM: Husbands must get up at night or they are bad fathers and will never bond with their children.[/quote]

Those arent opposing statements  :lol: Night nurses provide a break to both parents. Husbands getting up at night provide a break to Mom and if there are only 2 people available at night it should not be solely on one person. Both are means of making sure that mom isnt the only one waking up a night, which is normal in most babies.

Night nurses are also only available to a small subset of families. At 25-40/hr thats most peoples average hourly wage after taxes in the sub 150k world. [/quote]

And what about a family like mine, where DH makes 90k a year and I make 80k a year and neither of us can afford to lose our jobs? But I got 4 solid months of fully paid maternity leave and my DH got 4 weeks. So when he returned to work, I absolutely handled the lions share of night wake ups so that he could get out of bed at 6am and go to his job that we need in order to live. And then when I returned to work, we split it. And then the baby stopped waking up at night.

The months when I did night wake ups on my own weren't some horrible unequal nightmare for me. I was tired, yes, but I also took it easy. If I'd had a more challenging baby (my baby wasn't super easy, but also not super hard) we probably would have had to come up with a different solution. My DH did a ton around the house and was the primary parent in the evenings (6-10pm) and at least one full day on the weekend.

So I completely disagree with your premise that you HAVE to make sure mom isn't the only one waking up at night. It's very dependent on the situation. And it's important to note that the situation OP describes is precisely the kind where it makes sense to have mom do the vast majority of night wake ups. She has 5-6 HOURS of babysitting and household help a day. She's fine.[/quote]

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