Reply to When one sibling lives in parents' house

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't the grandparents want to do what is best for their own son's health?  I am surprised no one seems that worried about his well-being vs some Christmas tradition that is not a great idea in the age of COVID anyway.[/quote]

The grandparents were fine with the original plan. They are also fine with the plan of going to either this sibling's house, or to the other sibling's house and having this sibling come too.  They didn't like my hotel plan very much.  They are still holding out hope that there is a plan that will make everyone happy.  
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OP it seems pretty clear that the grandparents just want everyone to be happy and to spend time with all of the family and your moving in with them/setting these conditions is what is preventing them from being able to host as normal. You’ve been very clear about how you’re going to put your family’s needs first, but it’s not your house and you’re putting your in-laws in a very unfair position after they’ve been generous enough to open their home to you.[/quote]

Well no.  If we lived in our own place, we would spend the night there, so it wouldn't be any different from if we go to a hotel.  If us going to a hotel leads to DH's sibling being upset, then I would assume us staying at our own place would too.  
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Do you really not get that saying fine we’ll pack up and move to a hotel if you insist on also coming  to stay with the grandparents is on a completely different level than simply choosing to opt to stay at your own home for the holidays? The former comes across as passive aggressive and basically puts you in-laws in an unwinnable situation.[/quote]

I have not read all the responses, but it seems like what you are saying is that despite any health issues that OP's DH or inlaws have, OP is obligated to do what DH's sibling wants for the holidays.  Her DH, and she, have no choice in the matter.

Do you not see how absurd that is?

As for the sibling's assertion that she has as much right to her parents' house as OP's family - well, no.  They live there, the sibling doesn't.

Finally, OP's parents apparently were fine with the initial plan until the sibling started pitching a fit.  They're not being forced into anything, they are being emotionally blackmailed by the sibling.  [/quote]

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