Reply to Is it okay to be worried why our son still doesn't have a girlfriend at college?

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Reply to "Is it okay to be worried why our son still doesn't have a girlfriend at college?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I think back to my college days, I'd say the majority of the people I knew did not have a bf/gf during college. It was a very small LAC, we were very social, we did things in groups. There were some exclusive couples, there was always someone languishing for the love of someone who did not reciprocate, there was coupling that might last a semester or a year (September always meant several breakups and new connections). I had a series of 4-5 relationships and 2 of those guys visited me at home during summer break (they also had to travel 1000 miles each way to see me). Neither became permanent.

Here's a quote from someone's undergrad honors these at U Mich in 2018:

[quote]We asked participants about their engagement in four types of romantic and sexual
relationship types over the past semester. From most to least engaged in, these were: hookups
(51.43%), dating (40.00%), friends with benefits (30.71%), and committed/romantic (24.29%);
additionally, 20.86% of respondents indicated they had engaged in none of these.[/quote]

The author goes on to say these levels of engagement are consistent with past studies that have been done.

Sounds like OP's son is right in the median band.

There's plenty of google hits on the topic of college students and relationships.

As for worrying, OP--sometimes I have worried about my DS, 32. He does have social anxiety although he has a very large circle of friends. Last year was the first time he was in a real relationship--actually 2! One fell apart badly, the next lasted longer BUT the woman had long term plans involving moving cross country and he has his own business.

From my perspective, it's mostly that I want him to have that in his life. He's an only--but he does have some very close friends, male and female, in his social group.

He's always been very tight lipped about his relationships with girls/women. I[b]n his teens he was furious with me when he found out I had asked some of his friends about a certain girl,[/b] didn't learn about his first gf last year until it had fallen apart. When he kept casually mentioning the name of the second, there were enough hints that I commented ever so casually that this sounded like maybe a relationship and he confirmed. Even though it ended, I am glad that he is not actually shutting out the possibility in his life. [/quote]

As he should have been!  What the hell is wrong with so many of you on this board?!1  Your son could lead a very happy  life and never have a relationship with a woman ( or man ) , if he does choose that, no doubt you'd be the  MIL  from hell. 
It's not about you. IT's not your life. IT's his life. For the love og GOD butt the hell out and that goes for OP as well![/quote]

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