Reply to Making SAHM get job to pay for private school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, I agree the word "make" her get a job is poor choice of language.

Some good advice here and to answer some questions: she has a good degree fromm an expensive private school (as do most of her friends who are SAH mom's) so she could go back to what she was doing before SAH and probably make 75-100k full time which after taxes would basically just lay for school.

The reason I mention that is because I wonder if she would still think private is worth it if she literally had to endure a year of all the nonsense they work brings just for the joy of saying out kids are in private school.

As others have pointed out, it's just as much about that I see private school as pointless. In fact, I probably have a bit of a chip about it since I started at my company with a dozen others, almost all of them from Ivy or southern Ivy (Duke, Candy) and I surpassed all of them. Most aren't even in the field anymore. Point being, where you go to college doesn't matter as much as people think unless you are in a super rare field that needs a pedigree (like a Supreme Court lawyer). Where you go to high school matters less and middle school?

If this was a cheap expense, then it wouldn't be a hill to die on but it's an enormous expense. Can I afford it? For sure. Does it mean I will work at least 3 more years over this, for sure.

I suppose it just comes down to a philosophical difference as to whether private is an actual benefit vs a country club status thing.

Advice on a productive conversation? Am I allowed to anonymously sneer that my wife's very expensive private school pedigree didn't exactly lead to a good ROI?[/quote]

OP, my DH and I share some similarities to your situation insofar that DH really wants to send our kids to public school for K-12, whereas I can confidently say that I would prefer private school for at least 7-12 (we are zoned for an excellent public elementary, fortunately, where all of our friends' kids are happy and thriving). We've discussed this issue ad nauseum and haven't been able to come to an agreement, though I do think we both respect the other's position to some degree. Ultimately, having this discussion helped me realize that I really needed to leave my dead-end, low paying gov't job for the private sector, and I now make well over double what I did in gov't and our HHI is substantially higher. While we could have paid for private school for our kids on our old combined HHI (around 600k), it just made sense to me that increasing my income to pay for things like private school (which is clearly a want, not a need, because like you, we have perfectly good public schools in our city) rather than cutting our expenses, having DH work longer, or moving to a smaller house made the most sense. Obviously I'm not a SAHM so it's not precisely the same, but I think it's totally reasonable to have a mature conversation about this and explain to your DW that it is simply not worth the financial tradeoff in terms of you working longer. Who knows, maybe she will bring up wanting to work herself. [/quote]

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