Reply to Of the people you know who have had affairs, is there a common them.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every affair, like every family, is unique. Tolstoy writes in Anna Karenina " All happy families are alike. All unhappy families are unique in their own way."

I suggest that all those opining on here about what causes an affair.  It is b/c the cheaters are bad people?  Narcissists?  Good people doing bad things?  Bored in their marriage?  Or looking for something missing in themselves? There are any number of reasons and I think all of these reasons require compassion not condemnation.

Read Esther Perel's "The State of Affairs."  Here is an excerpt:

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/10/why-happy-people-cheat/537882/
[/quote]

Uggh! Life in America. Anything goes with no controls. It's not loving to be tolerant of everything. It's not truthful. Should we be tolerant of the 15 year old who killed all those other children? Sure have some compassion that he is human, but he's a danger. Infidelity is dangerous.[/quote]
How is infidelity dangerous? Anything can be dangerous if you’re an idiot.[/quote]

The poster you are responding to is a type: everything must be black and white. There must be a right person and a wrong person. And people who do something hurtful must be bad or broken people.[b] It is an extremely simplistic and immature view of the world[/b], and you see it all the time on any thread discussing infidelity. There is no reasoning with those people.[/quote]

It's called dualistic thinking.  It's very lazy.  [/quote]

No it's not. I was just working during the day. God forbid. I'll have to look up a list of reasons why infidelity is dangerous. I can think of several off the top of my head but wanted to respond more thoroughly. If you don't mind, I need to do other things after work and will get back to this question.[/quote]

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