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[quote=Anonymous]I am a teetotaler who enables DH, an extremely high-functioning borderline alcoholic. During the periods when he is trying to cut back I never bring anything in the house or even ask but at other times I try to make sure there is wine available so that he does not resort to gin and the harder stuff. I was raised in a family of non-drinkers but ILs all drink very heavily.  I feel certain that DH is aware of the health repercussions but values his quality of life more. Drinking calms him and makes him happy just like watching ridiculous YouTube videos and eating Cheetos calms me down. Why must we judge each other instead of just trying to help?

OP, provide alcohol but then "become unwell" after the main course is served and retire to your room. Make sure it is stocked with non-alcoholic treats you can relax and enjoy. Reassure your DH and the guests by phone that you are fine and then make sure someone else hosts the party next year.

This is hard. I wish you all the best.[/quote]

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