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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the world is a tough place for young people now. Much tougher than when I was growing up.  I am sure you took care of your daughter however when she says she grew up in the wrong family she may have a point.

You are a black and white thinker, driven by action.  You probably didn't discuss emotions and probably never tolerated them in the household.  Your frustration with your daughters emotion was probably very obvious to her, that's something you probably can't see or understand.

On the other hand your daughter is sensitive and emotional. She felt things deeply and yet in her family, no one around her understood her.  Your lack of ability to relate to her was probably very crushing to her.

You discouraged her from taking a course she wanted to take and in the end she took one she thought you would approve of and now she is miserable.  She probably feels stuck and now has student loans for something she despises which she did because of your disapproval of the course she originally really wanted to take.  You have led her in life to how you believe she should live it and now she is miserable.  She doesn't yet have the confidence to live the life she truly wants to live.

In part yes she needs to grow up and she will.  [b]She needs to get out of your house and find herself without your influence as you are the opposite to her.[/b]

In essence yes any parent can feed and clothe and put a roof over a child's head but giving them a life where they feel loved, accepted and safe, that's something entirely different.  You were not able to meet your daughter on her level, she will always be this way, something tells me you will never fully accept this part of her.[/quote]

OP, don't let the bolded scare you.

I am the opposite of my mother, but I love her dearly and appreciate her for all that she could do. Could she do everything for me? Of course not. But she did what she could, and she loved me every step of the way. I fully accept her, and she fully accepts me. There was a time when I wanted her to be more like me and vice versa. But now we know we are very different, and we are both happy with who we are.

You can give her a life where she feels loved, accepted and safe(I actually think you have given her that, which is why she is so open with her thoughts; she feels safe with you). 
If she doesn't know it now, she will recognize that this is what you were trying to do all along. Eventually, it will not matter that she thinks you failed on your first or second try. It will matter that you tried and never gave up until you got there. You can do it now. It's not too late. You got this.[/quote]

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