Reply to If you have dated a 30+ man in your teens and early twenties

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm kind of surprised by the shocked reactions on this thread.  I'm the PP who dated the 36 year old when I was 18. Dated is strong word. It was an affair. Do I condone the relationship now that I look back on it? No. Would I be horrified if my daughter did the same? Of course. But, at the time, at that time in my life, it felt totally normal to me. I had a crush on him, I pursued him, not the other way around.  We did not have sex. Lots of making out of course, but I didn't sleep with him.  It was more of an emotional affair other than the physical intimacy.  I don't have daddy issues --I had a great relationship with my father.

To me, he was way more interesting than the guys in high school. We were into the same things, like the same movies, music, political interests. I could have conversations with him that were fulfilling.  From the outside, of course this sounds disgusting--what is a guy nearly 40 doing with a teenager, but I wasn't 13 for goodness sakes. I was almost in college. I had a sense of maturity about myself. I didn't have low self-esteem--in fact it was the opposite. I was so confident that I basically persistent in pursuing him because I was crushing so hard.  I made these decisions--he didn't coerce me or even pressure me. In fact, it was kind of the other way around. I didn't care that he was married. I didn't care that he was older. I know that is terrible that I was the party of an affair and didn't take any consideration of his wife, his marriage, (he had no kids at the time). But, no one knew about us. We had zero mutual connections. My parents didn't know, friends didn't know. No one knows to this day but you all fine people.  He was an LD on the Hill, so there does seem to be a trend there according to this thread. He's since divorced and remarried. I do look back on it fondly because I did have a great time with him--I wish we had been closer in age and that he hadn't been married. [/quote]

No one's surprised you were into him.  It's the other way around.  Now that you're an adult, you're supposed to realize that, really, what kind of a loser 36 yo wants to smooch and talk politics with an 18 yo?  [/quote]

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