Reply to When you pay for your daughter's $$ wedding, what about your sons?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think as an Indian parent,[b] I have a certain dream of what the weddings of my kids will look like. I want to invite people that I have spent a lifetime connecting with. So I would want a certain minimum standard  to be adhered to and I have my list of guests too.[/b]  I certainly won’t want to pay for the other party’s guests. I am willing to pay for 20 people from other side but the other party can pay for who so ever  else that they they want to invite.

In short, I will pay the same amount for my son’s and my daughter’s wedding and I will pay for events that I want to happen, customs that I want to be observed, and guests that I want to be invited. If the bride and groom and the ILs want to piggyback on the event, and invite their own guests, they will have to cough up the cash for additional guests.  And I am certainly not paying for events and ceremonies that is not from my own faith.

If my kids would rather do their own stuff and pay for it themselves, we are more than happy to show up like guests. However, the current trend is that non-Hindus love to get a Bollywood wedding and not spend a dime of their own money.[/quote]

Ugh.

My (Indian) in-laws did exactly this. We threw, and paid for, our own modest wedding, with our own small guest list. My in-laws insisted on a massive, elaborate wedding, with everyone they'd ever met in attendance. It was the most miserable evening of my entire life. It was all about them, them, them. They also lied through their teeth about what it was, because I asked for it not to be an obnoxious massive affair, and ignored any request I had to not push ceremonies I was uncomfortable with. Many years later, I have never fully forgiven them. [/quote]

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