Reply to Could you forgive a one time misstep by your husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Np. I couldn't be bothered with being married to someone I couldn't trust.  For me the marriage and relationship would change instantly.

I understand it's nothing to others but it's not how I want to live my life.  I don't want to have to socialise only together because I'm scared of my husband going out without me. I don't want to worry about it happening again and how much further the lie goes.

I realise you have kids and that makes it hard.  I wouldn't be able to see my husband the same way again.  I guess for me, I'd lose respect for him completely.  I've remained faithful despite being tempted, I would have no faith in him again.  I'd divorce  but it's not my life.

Take your time to process what you want.  Don't be in a hurry.  [/quote]

Long marriage with kids and you are walking and making the kids lives forever out more difficult ([b]2 different homes for holidays, etc, bdays)[/b] all because he confessed to a kiss.  That is jumping the gun and leads me to believe you certainly have not been in a long marriage with multiple kids.

There are so many steps and evaluations before “Divorce!!’.  Christ, she doesn’t even have all the facts yet.[/quote]

Not me, but our friends divorced and the kids stayed in the family home. The parents rotate in and out of a shared apartment. Ideal? Not necessarily, and I suppose if either gets serious with someone else the arrangement could change. But for now the kids' lives have been minimally disturbed and they still have a very amicable and loving family life. They introduced the changes very gradually and no one was traumatized.

Acrimonious divorce is one path, but if you love your family and just don't want to stay with your spouse there are many other ways that keep things relatively stable for the kids.[/quote]

Yeah everybody makes such a big deal out of two different homes for the holidays but in all my years as a child of divorce that literally never bothered me. We just had presents and treats and good  and that’s what I cared about. I know it was hard on my parents and it annoys my MIL, but not me. [/quote]

My spouse is an adult child of divorce and it is a major PIA having multiple households at the Holidays.  Eventually--he just decided he wasn't doing it and spends all the Holidays with my family that goes in big vs the depressing apartment of his messed up dad or mom's house with weird stepdad.[/quote]

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