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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

New poster. Hey, OP:

--The Smithsonian has a supporters' group for under-40s. Used to have a lot of social events, cocktail hours, etc. pre-covid and likely will return to that.
--Did you go to college? Your college might have an alumni group here in DC. Alumni groups have happy hours, lectures, other events. DC alumni groups sometimes tend to be especially active, it seems.
--The National Zoo also used to have a supporters' group aimed at younger adults and I know people who used to go to events with that group at the Zoo. (I keep saying "used to" because this is all pre-Covid so you have to get out and do some searching around.) 
--How did you find your running group? There are loads of them in DC and you might need to do research to find ones aimed at single adults. The Post has run lists of running clubs in the past and I bet if you chat with people at a DC running store they can tell you all about the vibes and reputations of various groups so you can find a friendlier one.
--Volunteering is a great way to meet people with similar interests but get beyond soup kitchens. Can you volunteer at a marathon or fun run? You'd meet other runners that way too. What else is important to you that you want to support with volunteering? Did you choose the soup kitchen just becasue it was available or because it's of special interest? Follow your interests. 
--If you have any inclination toward a faith or ethical group, those are wonderful ways to meet people. Look for a congregation or group with a lot of adults your age. If you are not religious per se, there are "ethical humanist" groups that meet regularly.
--The Post and DCist.com etc. have lots of listings.

I understand, I really do -- it is hard enough to break in , in a new city, in regular times, but now it's even harder! But:

(1) If you bail and move again as soon as your lease is up, as someone suggested above, you will be right back in the same position you are now--in a new place, knowing no one, working from home. Why not double down on really researching what there is to do in DC?

(2) You sound very resigned to focusing on your sister and not on yourself. She advised you to try living here but note that she didn't adivse you to move right into their suburb. You're single. You're in the city. It's fantastic she's nearby but you can and should be living a life quite different from hers.

(3) The key word in your post was "summer." I think your sister maybe didn't prepare you to expect what fall is like in a family with kids aroundhere. Life truly is different once kids return to school and extracurricular activities, and spouses' work schedules get heavier (as they do, in fall, for many folks). Parents go back to being chauffeurs, monitors of homework and practice time. And on weekends in the school year, to be blunt, there is a need for carving out family time of just parents plus kids, because during the week they all don't necessarily see much of each other except to Get Things Done. I think maybe you'd say, "I know all that, but...." But summer was your time to settle and now is a great time to take the moments you're spending on DCUM and spend them instead on researching all the stuff there is to do in DC. And you will not necessarily meet new best friends or dates for long while, to be honest, but you will have a lot of fun along the way IF you can be open to that.

Meanwhile-- offer sometimes to babysit the kids or take them to do something and give your sister and BIL half a Saturday off for a date, too. That will earn you big points as favorite aunt. But mostly focus on you, and on getting to know the city rather than pining for last summer's time with your sister. She will have time for you again. She is not ditching you -- she is doing what anyone with school-aged kids has to do in fall and winter. The more she sees you understand that, and the more she sees you getting out and making an effort on your own, the better both of you will get along. DC really has so much to offer, don't let it go undiscovered.

[/quote]

This entire post was *chef's kiss* perfection! 🥰

If you listen to no other advice in this entire thread OP, listen to this wonderful person.

[/quote]
o .[/quote]

+2.

OP, I really feel for you. I WAS you, making the opposite move TO NYC and having almost the same experience. My sibling lived there and while I wasn’t expecting nearly as much time with their family as you are, I got almost none. My sibling’s spouse severely limited the time the could spend with me. I wasn’t planning on them being my only social network, but what I never realized was how very hard it was going to be to meet people. By a certain age, it’s just a fact that most people who are your peers are married and even have kids. I’m on the other side now, almost 15 years later, and I can attest to have overwhelmingly busy and exhausting it can be to have young kids, but I also experienced how soul-crushingly lonely it is to be single in a world full of marrieds.

This poster above has great suggestions. But also, did you have friends outside of your relationship in NYC? If you had single friends and/or groups that you belonged in and knew people there, I would seriously consider moving back. Not to a brand new city, where you will be repeating your DC experience with even less support. You need to be where your tribe will include a lot of other singles so there are people often available to meet up - for a run, for drinks, to hit up a museum, etc. a family with children is not it. If you didn’t have that in nyc, then try the options PP listed here. Absolutely seek out things you have a strong interest in, because that is where you will find people you are compatible with, shared interests. Go into it not looking for a boyfriend or immediate bestie, but to build a network of friends.

The loneliness really sucks OP, I know. And people who got married in their 20s or shortly after just will never get what it’s like to be single and lonely in a world that seems to be passing you by. But there ARE other people out there like you, looking for friends. You just need to find them. I wish you tons of luck.[/quote]

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