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Reply to "Moved at the suggestion of my sister, and now she's ditched me"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You were supposed to have developed your own life by now. You’ve been here months. Make friends and get some hobbies.[/quote] It is really hard to create a whole new life from scratch more or less in three months and I am trying. It is very hard during covid to meet people because first of all I don't have an office to go to where there are after work happy hours and stuff. I signed on to do shifts at a soup kitchen and it is mainly older women. I jog at Rock Creek Park and even joined a running group but everyone seems either married or not into making friends. I feel hopeless and sad.[/quote] [b]There’s simply no shortage of things to do and groups to join in DC[/b]. At least show you are making an effort, it back on the requests and you won’t seem so clingy.[/quote] New poster. Hey, OP: --The Smithsonian has a supporters' group for under-40s. Used to have a lot of social events, cocktail hours, etc. pre-covid and likely will return to that. --Did you go to college? Your college might have an alumni group here in DC. Alumni groups have happy hours, lectures, other events. DC alumni groups sometimes tend to be especially active, it seems. --The National Zoo also used to have a supporters' group aimed at younger adults and I know people who used to go to events with that group at the Zoo. (I keep saying "used to" because this is all pre-Covid so you have to get out and do some searching around.) --How did you find your running group? There are loads of them in DC and you might need to do research to find ones aimed at single adults. The Post has run lists of running clubs in the past and I bet if you chat with people at a DC running store they can tell you all about the vibes and reputations of various groups so you can find a friendlier one. --Volunteering is a great way to meet people with similar interests but get beyond soup kitchens. Can you volunteer at a marathon or fun run? You'd meet other runners that way too. What else is important to you that you want to support with volunteering? Did you choose the soup kitchen just becasue it was available or because it's of special interest? Follow your interests. --If you have any inclination toward a faith or ethical group, those are wonderful ways to meet people. Look for a congregation or group with a lot of adults your age. If you are not religious per se, there are "ethical humanist" groups that meet regularly. --The Post and DCist.com etc. have lots of listings. I understand, I really do -- it is hard enough to break in , in a new city, in regular times, but now it's even harder! But: (1) If you bail and move again as soon as your lease is up, as someone suggested above, you will be right back in the same position you are now--in a new place, knowing no one, working from home. Why not double down on really researching what there is to do in DC? (2) You sound very resigned to focusing on your sister and not on yourself. She advised you to try living here but note that she didn't adivse you to move right into their suburb. You're single. You're in the city. It's fantastic she's nearby but you can and should be living a life quite different from hers. (3) The key word in your post was "summer." I think your sister maybe didn't prepare you to expect what fall is like in a family with kids aroundhere. Life truly is different once kids return to school and extracurricular activities, and spouses' work schedules get heavier (as they do, in fall, for many folks). Parents go back to being chauffeurs, monitors of homework and practice time. And on weekends in the school year, to be blunt, there is a need for carving out family time of just parents plus kids, because during the week they all don't necessarily see much of each other except to Get Things Done. I think maybe you'd say, "I know all that, but...." But summer was your time to settle and now is a great time to take the moments you're spending on DCUM and spend them instead on researching all the stuff there is to do in DC. And you will not necessarily meet new best friends or dates for long while, to be honest, but you will have a lot of fun along the way IF you can be open to that. Meanwhile-- offer sometimes to babysit the kids or take them to do something and give your sister and BIL half a Saturday off for a date, too. That will earn you big points as favorite aunt. But mostly focus on you, and on getting to know the city rather than pining for last summer's time with your sister. She will have time for you again. She is not ditching you -- she is doing what anyone with school-aged kids has to do in fall and winter. The more she sees you understand that, and the more she sees you getting out and making an effort on your own, the better both of you will get along. DC really has so much to offer, don't let it go undiscovered. [/quote]
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