Reply to Told brother to keep his girlfriend aka mistress at home for the holidays.

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Reply to "Told brother to keep his girlfriend aka mistress at home for the holidays."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Because she put what's best for her kids above her own self interests. "

It is in the best interests of the kids to continue having a relationship with their father. It is not healthy for the kids to believe if you screw up you will forever disowned by your family.[/quote]

He has been not been disowned. [b] We just don't want his mistress around and neither do his kids[/b].  [/quote]

Then don't. As a child of this situation, I got sick of "but he's your father" and him refusing to see us without the mistress. You can tell your brother yes, the goalposts moved but you're still dealing with the aftermath of his horrid decision and that's his to bear. And you will let him know at what point you are ok meeting her, and he has to deal with that.

As his kids, they would probably view you as letting them and their mom down to welcome the GF into your family holidays. And if they want to stop by, they will be wondering "is she there?"

You and only you get to decide who comes to your house. Your brother then can decide if he wants to come to your house. He's a big boy who made his bed and now gets to be mature and deal with it. [/quote]

Yes! All of this. Thank you for giving the kids' perspective.  [/quote]

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