Reply to Anyone have an affair and actually end up with that person?

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[quote=Anonymous]

I did. 
I wad with my ex since I was 19 years old. 
I had "dated" other guys before him, but nothing long term or serious.
My ex was very insecure, jealous, a really proficient gaslighter and controlling.

I worked with my now DH and he showed me that's not how a woman should be treated. 
It started out as an emotional affair as we got closer, but we didn't do anything sexually or even a kiss until after a year of him being an incredible support system.

During that year of him building me up and making me realize how a relationship should be, I tried everything with my ex because I didn't want to be a failure... we even went to therapy & marriage counseling, but he was so set in his ways (he was 8 years older than me) so rigid, he wouldn't open up in therapy, he just kind of ran through the motions to appease the therapist. 
It was incredibly frustrating.

After that first kiss with my now DH, I went home, packed a bag, went to my parents house and filled for separation 2 days later.

We've been married for 18 years, 3 awesome teens, my DH is an incredible husband & an even better father, and I have never been happier in my entire life.

I do still have guilt over the way we started our relationship, but after being treated the way my ex did & how my DH treats me, even if it didn't work out with my now DH & we hypothetically ended up breaking up, I would have STILL left my ex, because my DH showed me that I deserved better.

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