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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well OP you can see the attitude. BY GOD DONT BRING YOUR KID!!!! A bit over the top but there it is. Non twin moms never get that twins have a bond and so on. They lash out. And so strident about the need to separate them. Nice isn’t it? Signed twin mom. [/quote]

+1 also twin mom.  I agree on separating but the vitriol from non-twin moms is ridiculous. They just don't get it.[/quote]

non-twin mom here.  I don't agree with how the other people are presenting but, in my experience expecting twins to always do things together tends to  limit friendships.  My dd had twins sisters as friends and would have loved to done more things with the one twin because they had more in common.  The other twin tended to dominate the shyer  twin.    But because of twin mom attitude ( you  have to invite both or none) we didn't invite the one twin one so everyone missed out.

Just because they are twins, doesn't mean they are tied at the hips ( unless they are conjoined)[/quote]

I am the PP.  My point was that this is always an issue when you have twins.  I agree with separation; I was not advocating that.  But there are big feelings involved that non-twin moms do not understand.  When I first starting separating my twins for activities, they both cried and were scared and didn't understand.  One of my children asked why the kid didn't like her and genuinely thought she was being excluded on purpose.  And I felt bad because I am their mother.  Seeing your child in pain is difficult for both twin moms and singleton moms.

We worked through it and they are very independent now, but it doesn't help to hear harsh judgment from moms who have no idea what this is like.  The bond is there and it is different and sometimes it is delicate to navigate.  I don't think people need to accommodate this at all, I am just saying they could be a little nicer in the tone when giving advice about things they don't have any experience with.[/quote]

NP.  I think what is off putting here is the assumption by some twin moms that there are no non-twin siblings in the world that could possibly be as bonded/close as their twins.  I hope that twin parents that feel both twins should be invited to everything are also inviting all siblings on playdates at their house.  To the PP above who mentioned that it’s different with twins because they are used to getting all of the same things (ice cream and backpacks) – this is the case with all siblings who are close in age.  My two DDs are almost 2 years apart.  Their birthdays are a few days apart.  They are absolutely used to getting the same things at the same time.  They definitely complain that it’s not fair if one is having a playdate and they aren’t.  That’s life. 
 
OP, it would be incredibly rude to ask to include your son. The fact that your son “might not take it well” doesn’t justify imposing on this other mom who, understandably, didn’t feel like she needed to include the opposite gender sibling that isn’t even in her kid’s class.  There are many things that kids don’t take well, but they still have to deal with it.  If you feel this is going to be too problematic, I think you just need to turn down playdate invites. [/quote]

Twin bond is different than siblings.  Sorry, but it's true. I have identical twins and it is not the same as regular siblings, no matter how hard you are going to try and say it is.  Read "One and the Same" by Abigail Pogrebin and educate yourself. [/quote]

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