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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I’ve been happily married for many years. My spouse isn’t perfect and neither am I but we are happy with our lives and have great kids as well as our own separate hobbies/friends etc. I honestly wouldn’t care that much if I found out he had ‘cheated’ on me. It doesn’t take away from what we have together, and I’m imperfect too. I think he feels the same way. It’s not something that is is so important to me the way it seems to be in a lot of other posts cue the realizing whole life was a lie, abuse etc. I also don’t think I have low self esteem as many will crow. Physical intimacy is just not the only measure of love in my opinion and not something I’d divorce over

Waiting for all the replies of wait until it happens to me I’m in denial etc or I have low self esteem and he’s already cheating. Anyone else know what I mean?[/quote]

I agree with all of this. I think the real issues would be if he or I was in love with another person or had plans to leave the marriage. If that wasn’t the case, it’s not the huge deal to me the way it is for some other people. [/quote

I really agree with this. Perhaps this is some insight from being middle-aged now, but sex just for the sake of having sex doesn’t really bother me. It’s strange because I feel sometimes that it should, but the truth is that I also think I would be capable of having great sex with someone else and having it mean absolutely nothing next to my very happy marriage. I do think “cheating” is a bunch of bad things happening together - lying to your person, getting unsustainably emotionally involved, embarrassing your spouse - I think quite a lot of these things can be dealt with through open communication. But I always have been a fan of openish marriages - we should give ourselves a little bit more space to make a few mistakes. [/quote]

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