Reply to Thrivers (book), raising kids in a pressure cooker area

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids attend an AAP center in McLean. They play sports and have good friends. They are not the best at anything and they are thriving. I am sure we are probably in what you consider a pressure cooker environment but it feels normal to us.

We are an Asian American family and I don’t feel my kids study all that much, especially compared to my family in Asia. My kids have quiet the leisurely life.

I do not put insane pressure on them. I expect good grades and effort. Their effort is quite minimal. They do their homework, study a little for tests and that is it.[/quote]

+1 eastern european immigrant here... the kids here have it very easy. You want a pressure cooker? Try 13-14 mandatory subjects plus a competitive sport. This kind of childhood actually taught me that you cannot be the best at everything or even one thing all the time, and I came out resilient and non-plussed when I inevitably came second, third, or dead last. Kids who are coddled and protected from loss, defeat, and hard work, end up with all kinds of mental issues down the line.  The key is that you have to NORMALIZE failure at home. You fell? Great, dust off, get back on the horse. The first step to being good at something is being terrible at it. [/quote]

what Americans call AP classes are just regular classes in other countries, and then some. you don't pick your subjects and it is very difficult to get straight As. children and their parents here are so spoiled by easy classes and constant praise then when they see a glimpse of regular curriculum they melt down.[/quote]

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