Reply to is nose-to-wall timeout too harsh?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We used time outs (nose to the wall) [b]before the kids were old enough to be embarrassed or old enough to go to their room by themselves[/b].  Usually only if we were too busy for active redirection but needed to stop the behavior.  I don't think it harmed anyone.   Certainly not abusive, but also not particularly effective for a 5 yo.

"Stop jumping off the couch please."
"No more jumping off the couch.  Why don't you go do X?"
"If you jump off the couch again you will go to time out to calm down."
[2 min in time out to calm down]
"OK, remember we don't jump on furniture.  Let's go do XX now." (Redirection)[/quote]

It's child dependent, but I think a 2 year old is "old enough" to go to their room by themselves, at least for a short period and assuming the room is properly set up (kids shouldn't have things in their room that they need supervision with anyway).

And kids are "old enough" to be embarrassed as early as 2.5 (again, child dependent). I think any child capable of making a parent angry enough to try and punish with "nose to wall" is capable of feeling embarrassment.[/quote]

With stairs and babygates, my kid had trouble making it upstairs to her room by herself until well after 3.5 yo, especially if upset.

My 2.5 yo certainly wasn't embarrassed and I wasn't angry.  It was just a place to calm down.   Staring at the wall removed distractions and was calming.   Not that different than sending a kid to a fort or cubby hole to calm down, which is viewed as totally fine.  I think you're importing feelings you'd have as an adult or older child that my 2.5 yo didn't experience. [/quote]

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