Reply to Why can't men [my DH] multitask????

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every morning, I, a divorced dad with custody…
- get kids up and dressed
- make my breakfast and the kid breakfasts 
- make the kids their lunch and pack it up
- feed the cats
- unload and load d/w
- scoop the litter box
- make kids put on sunblock
- take them to camp

And usually some other little things as well.

This is not hard. Not a big deal. Anyone can do this.[/quote]

Curious if you did this when you were married or if it was a skill you developed when you had no other choice.

I sometimes consider going away for a week or something and just forcing DH to deal. It would be a big undertaking -- he'd have to either take time off from work or hire extra help because his work schedule makes it impossible for him to do morning drop off and evening pick up.

I think he'd be okay for the first day, then there would be some roadblocks (probably in the form of a recalcitrant toddler, his biggest parenting nemesis). Then it would be a total disaster for some period of time, and then he'd figure it out.

The only reason I haven't tried this is that I am genuinely worried about what the "total disaster" period would look like. Like maybe it would just be that the house is a wreck and he's late to everything and he and the kids are at odds (all acceptable). But I genuinely worry that he would just lose it and go for old school, corporal punishment. The thought scares me and keeps me from letting go. I really just don't know if he has the personal resources to get through a parenting crisis without totally giving up and letting his frustration and anger get the best of him.[/quote]

That’s sad. In the second shift, there was an interview with a dad who saw corporal punishment as his role as a parent. Like that was the only thing. He was responsible for discipline. His wife didn’t leave them alone with him even to get her hair done. The interviews were from the late 80s and early 90s. I would argue men are doing better as parents, but again, it’s stalled. And when you add in the high expectations to cook healthy meals and restrict screen time (even though the culture of playing outside all day with neighbors is gone) it puts women in an impossible position. We need to stop making societal problems about personal responsibility. [/quote]

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