Reply to Wife wants to be "alone" so this means we divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So many women in straight marriages feel this way. [/quote]

+1. This thread has been so validating. I have felt like OP's wife for a couple years now, but thought I was crazy/alone. I love my kids and love living with them. But when the nest is empty, I just want to live alone again. [/quote]

Same.  A lot of women just end up taking care of everyone around them, always putting themselves last and it gets wearying.  Could we do more to take care of ourselves?  Sure, probably but there is so much societal pressure on women to be good mothers, good partners, good daughters and sometimes you don't even realize how much you lost yourself until it's gone.  When I fantasize, I dream about a small beachfront cottage where the space is all mine and it is calm and peaceful and quiet and nobody needs anything from me.  [/quote]

It's interesting, there is definitely a measure of pressure to be "good" which can mean sacrificial and all giving, particularly when you are a young mother and the children are very young (i.e.under 5). But I remember too lots of messages about self care being important, lots of books and blogs about the importance of girls nights, taking care of yourself, etc..friends or at least mine always talked about this and the message was always, "you have to also take care of yourself." So I don't think the broader culture has been tone deaf on this issue in the past couple of decades. For their own particular psychological makeup some women do lose themselves. Some do give too much. It's very hard to be sacrificial over many years and it is not really particularly healthy...for anyone. [/quote]

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