Reply to Is it selfish to move abroad for good when you're an only child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am an only child who moved overseas and was raised by a very abusive woman. I don't know my bio dad and don't care. In a way, I get what you mean by feeling adrift but I am also quite cynical and don't necessarily romanticize having an extended family (or any family at all). I no longer have any contact with the woman who raised me as it isn't a healthy relationship for me to maintain. You honestly remind me of her in the sense that you want a lot of contact and bonding but are actually alienating them with your neediness. You have said it yourself, they couldn't help you. If I had gotten your text, my first thought would have been "Why is she sending me this? What does this have to do with me?" You sound like you want their attention even though you resent that they didn't help your dad. I think you have a lot to unpack and work on your interpersonal skills.[/quote]

OP here. I texted 2 uncles and their wives and 1 cousin about our misfortune. The event that happened to us was major and very stressful. It made headlines in our local community. It was an incident that one would normally tell family about, usually parents and siblings first. 
Given that my parents are dead and I don't have siblings, I informed my next closest family, i.e. aunts, uncles, cousin (Mom's side of the family).
It not weird that I texted them. It's weird that they didn't reply or acknowledge what had happened. It's not what I would call 'normal'.

I may have moved overseas a long time ago, but I still consider myself to be a valid member of our family. Or do you believe in 'out of sight, out of mind'?[/quote]

I think you feel hurt because they didn’t seem to care or acknowledge you. But unless you contribute to their well-being and vice versa, why would they care? [/quote]

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