Reply to How do you deal with not having the life you wanted?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How do you deal with not having the life you wanted?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, what you’re experiencing is grief. Regarding others, everyone will have SOMETHING to grieve if they live long enough. I too am divorced and I really am kinda broke, I make 42k and am about to move out of the fancy house and in with my parents. I too grieve the life I thought I would have and that I worked for. Sometimes I feel envious of others for whom it worked out differently. But I have a lot to be grateful for and I bet you do, too. We will carry the grief of our failed marriages for the rest of our lives but please do NOT let it color all your days. I just tell myself, I have my kids, my health, my friends and family and myself. Some people have real problems! [/quote]

NP. Please, OP, re-read the post above. It is wise.

You are grieving -- we do not just grieve people who die, we also grieve ideas or goals that die, though we don't always recognize the loss as something we're grieving.

Despite the many rude posts on here, it is OK to grieve the loss of your expectations. Some here are eager to criticize the expectations themselves (big house, top schools, etc.). But if those were your expectations, there is nothing wrong with admitting they were what you wanted and anticipated.

Then you need to deal with the grief and let them go, and reset. The post above is an excellent one for showing how a reset can help you "NOT let [your lost expectations] color all your days." Please consider, once you have time and energy, getting out and volunteering, which can provide a serious reset and engender a lot of appreciation. But meanwhile--it's OK to grieve and vent for a time. Just not for all time.
[/quote]

This is what I was thinking too - sounds like grief to me. The only way out of it is through it. I have also been in a place of grieving my expectations when to the rest of the world what I had was plenty. It’s not about being ungrateful (sooo unhelpful when people tell you that) at all. After that you can move on and create new dreams for yourself and your family. You can be happy, it may just look different than your younger self imagined. Join the club![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics