Reply to Does you relationship change if you stay home ( for moms)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, turn this around. Are you willing to give up someting important to you (staying home with your kids) just so your relationship dynamic will stay the same? I don't see how that is at all empowering to you.

If your husband only loves and values you for your job, then that's a problem.

I stay home with my kids (4 and 2) and have no regrets. Yes it is hard and sometimes boring, but so are all "jobs."

In Europe, your maternity leave would automaticall be a year or more. The idea that you should only stay home with your baby for 3-6 months is very American. It's not your fault you live in America in 2021 and you're only allowed 3 months home with your baby.

No, I do not have "an allowance." We do have a household budget that we BOTH follow. I am actually in charge of our finances and budget.

Yes, I do most of the household chores because it's convenient for me to do them while home with the kids. But my husband has a normal 9-5 job and also does a lot of housework and childcare. We both work hard and we both have the same amount of leisure time. He is not coming home from work and having a beer while I continue to do things around the house.[/quote]

OP here. I said one of the reasons my husband fell in love with me was because of our jobs. That is not the only reason. He loves me for many reasons, as I do him. [B]He also loves how amazing of a mom I am and tells me that everyday. [/B][/quote]

OP none of us are in your marriage and can't tell you what will happen. But I was struck by the bolded. It feels a little weird to me. Every day? He thinks you need this kind of validation this frequently? Do you also tell him he is an amazing father every day? That particular little tidbit feels really unbalanced to me. I've had a lot of friends with kids over the years (they are teens now) and that sort of over-the-top daily affirmation is usually something I associate with people who don't have healthy marriages. I mean your kid is young and everyone is a little nuts when their babies are born, but that dynamic seems a bit much.

Idk. Maybe it's fine. It just jumped out as a little weird.[/quote]

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