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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]It's a horrible time for kids generally. I don't know if boys pick on each other as much directly, but have definitely caught my son making excuses to try to avoid hanging out with a kid that lives near us that he views as uncool. I've spoken to him multiple times about kindness, but his response is that he isn't being unkind - he's being polite, but doesn't want to be friends.

That isn't necessarily bullying. Yes, it would be ideal if all kids could just get along and play/hang out with everyone but that isn't realistic. As long as your son is being polite "sorry, something suddenly came up and I can't hang out with you today" and not being mean to the kid "you are so lame! I don't want to hang out with you", that is normal and shouldn't be construed as bullying or even being mean.[/quote]

Oh, I 100 percent agree that it isn't bullying, but I do think it is being a bit mean.  [/quote]

DP here.  I do think the parents on both sides should be aware - and really (since it came up) the kid should be able to take a hint. No, the other kid should not be mean about it - but after ten times of saying "I'm busy today" really, take a hint before it escalates. I wrote on the other thread about a situation where my kid didn't want to hang out with someone, said no thank you seemingly a million times, and then the other kid turned on my kid and assaulted them.

My kid knew the other kid was not so good at listening, but did not know about the other kid's anger and boundary issues.  Turns out, the school knew, and had it on record (besides there being witnesses and video of what happened - more than once).  Basically, the kid should not have still been in school, as it was not their first incident, and not their last. The parents were overwhelmed at home, and the school gave them no resources.  Which certainly did not justify the assaults (plural), the kid was basically a loose cannon, and so were the parents.

Boundaries (and of course, having a handle on one's anger, and not assaulting people, starts at home) are an important subject for kids to know about. [/quote]

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