Reply to Wrong to not allow my teen DD to wear certain clothes

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We’ve had a lot of conversations about this topic at our house and it’s one I struggle with. We’ve definitely loosened things up based on feedback from our daughters. They should be able to wear what they want without fearing unwanted male attention. But changing boy behavior is hard and it makes me really uncomfortable thinking about men or teen boys ogling my daughters. I don’t know the answer. We are just tryin FTI keep the conversation going about us wanting our daughters to date someone who likes who they are as people and not just how they look in crop tops or short shorts. Dyed hair is a lot easier for me to support![/quote]

I am a bit lost too. On the one hand, no amount of nakedness would ever excuse unwanted touch or behavior. On the other hand, there is no denying that we are animals and nakedness produces a sexual response in both men and women. Wearing ultra-revealing clothes give kids (and women) different form of attention than wearing other form of clothing. For a teenage girl who just developed, it is tempting to play and expererience with that power/attention.
Not sure that where I will draw the line if/when my daughters (now in oversized outfits) will ask, but I would have a full conversation with them about all this.   
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My DD is 12, taller than me, great body by mainstream standards, and wants to wear crop tops and yoga pants.  And the answer she gets from me and her dad is a resounding "No, nope, uh uh. NO."  But she's come around to understanding why, as even when she just wears a regular tank top (covering her belly) and a skirt, she is starting to get attention from boys and men and she's starting to understand how quickly her entire being can be boiled down to just how she looks and how pretty she looks by way too many members of the public.  She's starting to understand why there's energy there that as a 12 yr old and heck, as a 15 yr old too, she doesn't want that energy to be what people focus on.  She's now NOT asking anymore for crop tops, she's enjoying shopping at thrift stores and getting baggier clothes.

It just took explaining why we were saying no and letting her experiement a little when we were out together with how she dressed and discussing with her how she felt/noticed people reacting. And now she's come around to NOT wanting crop tops and yoga pants in public, although her PJs now are a crop top and shorts.

Dont even get me started on the tie-in between how girls dress and how girls act on Instagram/Snapchat/tik tok.... The posing, the constant constant efforts to get just the right pic... toxic and undermining of self-esteem beyond belief.  Which is why our 12 yr old isn't allowed to have accounts on any of those.  But she still sees PLENTY from those sites on youtube and other sites like art websites.[/quote]

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